


A Very Special Christmas

by for_the_love_of_wolves



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Christmas, Christmas market, F/M, FitzSimmons Secret Santa, Fluff, Light Angst, Perthshire Cottage, fitzsimmons family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-28
Updated: 2019-12-28
Packaged: 2021-02-24 23:15:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22006063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/for_the_love_of_wolves/pseuds/for_the_love_of_wolves
Summary: The FitzSimmons family celebrates Christmas in their cottage in Perthshire for the first time. That involves baking gingerbread men, dancing to Christmas songs, going to a Christmas market and, of course, presents. Jemma has a special surprise gift for Fitz ... (A FitzSimmons Secret Santa gift for lemon-boie!)
Relationships: Leo Fitz/Jemma Simmons
Comments: 6
Kudos: 39





	A Very Special Christmas

**Author's Note:**

  * For [citrelis](https://archiveofourown.org/users/citrelis/gifts).



When Fitz wakes up five days before Christmas, the whole cottage smells of gingerbread.

With a yawn, he turns over onto his stomach, pressing his face into a pillow which smells faintly of Jemma. He almost dozes off again, feeling comfy and warm, wrapped in three fuzzy blankets. He’s a bit sad Jemma isn’t there to cuddle. Contrary to Fitz, Jemma has always been an early riser, determined to get as much as possible out of each day. On days like this, when they have nowhere to go, she lets him sleep. Sometimes she stays in bed, reading or working on her laptop until he wakes up, but these days, she’s very busy with preparations.

Fitz rolls around one more time, throwing a look out of the window. 

It’s snowing softly now. A week ago, there was a snowstorm, covering everything with a heavy white blanket. The world was a flickering mess, the trees nothing but skeleton-like blurry silhouettes. The storm raged the whole night, and, in the morning, they found themselves snowed in. Fitz and Deke had to dig a tunnel through the snow and Deke was excited, like always when he did something new. Despite being dead exhausted and bathed in sweat after the work, Fitz couldn’t suppress a smile and felt a warm hint of fondness, when he heard Deke’s bright laughter and saw his eyes sparkling. Deke really liked earth and everything it has to offer. It was almost impossible to not share at least a bit of his excitement.

Now, Deke found a new obsession: Christmas. He walks through the cottage, wearing the ugliest Christmas sweaters Fitz has ever seen. Some of them are even blinking in red and blue. Deke also was so certain Santa really existed for a few days; Jemma didn’t have the heart to tell him otherwise. Unfortunately, Deke ran towards a man dressed as Santa, who was taking wishes from children in a shop centre, and asked him questions, until the annoyed man told him he’s not actually Santa because Santa doesn’t exist. Deke was sad for a day, until he discovered gingerbread. Which Jemma is baking now.

It’s going to be the first Christmas they really celebrate since … Well. Since they joined Coulson’s team. The last years, they were way too busy saving earth and themselves, to think of any festivities. Though … In the early times, when everything was still kind of fun and exciting – a marvellous adventure, like Jemma used to say -, Coulson appeared casually wearing a Santa hat, Skye found a tiny Christmas tree and someone – Fitz was sure it was May – suddenly played loud horrible Christmas songs.

It still stings, to think of these times. It’s merely the echo of an ache now, with everything that happened since then – layers of trauma, layers of pain, layers of regret and destroyed hopes – but it stings nevertheless.

Fitz gets up with a sigh, shuddering in the sharp winter morning air. He pads into the bathroom, almost stumbling over a pink bauble on the floor. Their cat Lola must have played with it. Deke found her as a kitten a few months ago. She was all alone and starving, trying to get food out of the rubbish. Deke brought her in and everyone quickly fell in love with the little black cat. She loved Deke the most, but sometimes, when Fitz sat in bed, reading, she came to lay beside him, purring softly.

She is just another part of this new life. The life he found a bit difficult to get used to for so long. He still sometimes flinched when he heard a loud bang, almost expecting to be shot at. But there was no more danger. They made sure of that.

Fitz still remembers … How tired they were after it was finally over. When the Chromicons weren’t a threat anymore. They spent hours just lying in each other’s arms. They were separated for so long … Fitz had prepared a lot of words, but they were all gone, when he could press Jemma close to him, feel her solid warm presence and inhale her familiar scent.

“What are we going to do now?” Fitz eventually asked.

Jemma silently played with his hair for a while and sighed eventually. “I’ve had enough dangerous adventures. I’d like to have some happy ones as well,” she said. “Let’s take a break from … all this. Let’s take a break from Shield.” She looked at him. “Would that be alright for you?”

“Yes. More than alright. But … Are you going to be happy without Shield?”

The answer came without a moment of hesitation. “Yes.”

“Then let’s do this.”

Jemma smiled. She took his hand and said, “Let’s go.”

Fitz looked at her surprised. “What, now? Where?”

But Jemma didn’t want to tell him where they would go. And she didn’t have to. Fitz would follow her wherever she’d go. He trusts her just as she trusts him.

They said goodbye to the team. Everyone told them they deserved a break. Everyone wanted to go a different path. To split up didn’t feel good, but it was clearly necessary. Daisy joined May. They would take the Zephyr to fly to Tahiti. Daisy wanted to be where Coulson was, wanted to see his grave. Fitz understood. Mack and Elena wanted to go to Mack’s place, figuring themselves and their relationship out. Fitz was sure they were going to be alright. Deke sent them a message he would like to stay with Jemma and Fitz, as soon as he returned from his world trip, if that was alright. They said yes.

Jemma and Fitz’s first aim was the airport. The destination surprised Fitz. Scotland. He found a million reasons why they would go there and not all made him happy. But Jemma smiled at him, so gentle and loving, that he calmed down and leaned against her in the plane, falling into a pleasant slumber as soon as they took off.

After they landed, they took a train. Then a bus. The landscapes became more rural with every passing hour. Fitz looked outside and marvelled at the hills and forests. This was his home. He wasn’t here for ages and didn’t know what to feel. Jemma held his hand. They didn’t talk much. And that was alright. Silence was never uncomfortable, when they were together.

When the bus finally stopped and they got out, breathing in the fresh air of the countryside, Jemma smiled at Fitz and locked arms with him. “We’re there,” she said, leading him to a little beaten track. They walked on it for a while, until they came to a meadow. And there, it was.

The small cottage crouched in the embankment, as if it was trying to hide. The walls consisted of unevenly sized, grey stones and were overgrown with ivy. The slate roof was slightly misshapen. When they got closer, Fitz saw that moss was growing between the stones, giving glimpses of bright green alongside the different shades of grey. There was a little crooked chimney on the roof, looking almost like it pointed toward the hills.

“This is it,” Jemma said. “This is our home, Fitz.”

A cottage in Perthshire. Just like she promised long ago.

“How …” Fitz started, staring at the house.

“Coulson,” Jemma said quietly. “It was his wedding gift.”

“Oh.” There was the ache in his chest again … It came every time he thought of Coulson. He missed him so much … He gave them more then just a team to work with. He gave them a home. He did it now again. 

There was a lot of work to do. The roof had to be repaired at some places, where rain could have dripped into the cottage. The garden was a mess. The floor and some rooms needed to be renovated. Fitz loved to work on the cottage. It was good to have something to do. Something to focus on. It distracted him from the past and all the questions in his head. And sometimes he had the feeling, that Coulson chose this cottage for exactly the reason it wasn’t perfect. It was beautiful and could become a home soon, with time and work and patience. They had to work on it, like they had to work on themselves. The cottage recovered, healed, together with them.

Not everything is fine. Not even now, after months of working. There are days when Fitz finds it difficult to separate past and presence. When he wakes up from a nightmare of the Framework, or remembers their time in the mind prison, where he saw his own body, heard of Coulson’s death, learned about Jemma’s demons trapped in a little music box.

It all comes back, following him like shadows.

But they are about to make so many new, happier memories. The past is in the past and they make the future. This Christmas is future too. He’s actually looking forward to it.

  
When Fitz comes into the kitchen, Jemma is taking a look into the oven. She’s wearing the apron he got her for her last birthday. The one that just says “Chef” and has a fierce looking cat on it. There are a few brown splotches on it, from the gingerbread dough. Fitz approaches Jemma as quiet as possible, grinning and reaching out to hug her from behind. Jemma squeaks in surprise when he closes his arms around her and jumps. “Fitz! Don’t you scare me like this!” She laughs and lays a hand covered in an oven glove on his.

Fitz just hums, closes his eyes and presses his face into the crook of her neck, inhaling her scent.

“I didn’t expect you to be up yet sleepyhead,” Jemma tells him and moves away, to get to a full baking plate. Fitz lets her go reluctantly. He watches, as she starts to decorate the gingerbread men on the plate with sprinkles. They look and smell delicious.

Jemma smiles up at him. “Do you want to help?”

Fitz nods and she hands him a bowl filled with sprinkles. He manages one gingerbread before his stomach convinces him to try at least one of the finished gingerbread men. It’s still very warm and he closes in eyes in delight at the sweet taste.

“You’re supposed to try, not eat them away, Fitz,” Jemma scolds, but she’s grinning.

“They’re perfect, Jems,” Fitz says around the rest of gingerbread in his mouth.

“I’m glad,” she says quietly, reaching for the raisins, to make some eyes for her gingerbread men. “I want them to be great. I want everything to be great. Since … since it’s going to be a special Christmas.”

Fitz frowns. “Why? Because it’s the first one we celebrate properly?” He asks. 

But Jemma shakes her head. “It’s a surprise,” she says and smiles gently.

Fitz scratches the back of his head, feeling a bit nervous now. Surprises have rarely been good in his life. “Is it a happy surprise?” He asks carefully.

Jemma looks up at him. “Of course, Fitz.”

“Alright.” Fitz focuses on the gingerbread men in front of him and starts to spread sprinkles on them.  
  


Later, when they’re done, Jemma turns the radio on. Auld Lang Syne is playing.

Jemma looks at Fitz and smiles. “Come dance with me,” she says, reaching for his hands.

“You know I can’t,” Fitz sighs but Jemma shakes her head and pulls him into the middle of the room.

“Alright, but don’t complain when I step onto all your toes again,” he warns her and they start to move slowly, swaying through the room. The movements are calm and soothing. The warmth coming rom the fireplace makes their faces glow and outside the snow is still falling gently.

Jemma giggles when Fitz dips her rather inelegantly and he grins, bending forward carefully to kiss her on the lips. She smells like cinnamon and he never wants to stop kissing her. Jemma clings to him, making a breathless nose into his mouth.

They kiss like this until Deke rushes into the room and stops dead when he sees them, grimacing and calling out, “Ew!”

* * *

Only three days before Christmas, Deke begs them to go to the Christmas market with him.

“Please, I want to go there! I’ve heard of Christmas markets; I know they have a lot of delicious food I’ve never tried. Please.”

“Fitz,” Jemma says, her gaze focused on her laptop. She holds it in a way that makes sure neither Fitz nor Deke can look at the screen and Fitz has a weird feeling about that. Either she’s buying Christmas presents – but that’s not Jemma. Jemma doesn’t buy presents only three days before Christmas … - Or she’s keeping something from him. “You go. You two can have a good time and I’ll have time for some … preparations.”

Fitz frowns. He doesn’t feel like going out today. It’s still snowing. It’s going to be wet and freezing. Besides, there will be _people._ He looks away from Deke making puppy eyes and opens his mouth to protest, but Jemma shakes her head. “A lot of delicious food, Fitz,” she says, echoing what Deke said.

Fitz sighs. She has a point. He hasn’t had waffles with cherries and whipped cream on top for ages. His mum always bought him that on Christmas. His stomach seems to think the food is worth facing a crowd of annoying people bumping into him and talking too loud …

“Fine,” he says.

Deke beams.

* * *

The Christmas market is crowded like it was to be expected so shortly before Christmas eve.

God. Fitz hates crowds. He grimaces and ducks his head, trying to ignore the noise around him.

Deke walks around with his mouth open. He points at everything, his eyes sparkling. He looks like a big kid. It’s sweet, Fitz has to admit. Sometimes, when the past is catching up with him, he feels sorry for Deke too. Like he feels sorry because of Daisy. Or Coulson. All the people he – or his dead self - hurt. All the people who had to suffer because of him … Deke can be exhausting. He can be annoying. He babbles a lot. But there’s no real reason to be mean to him. Jemma tried to explain it to him. A lot. But still … Fitz wishes he could confront his other self. Talk to him face to face. Ask him what made him do the things he did. But of course, there’s no way to do this. He can’t change the past. Especially not a past he doesn’t even remember, a past he didn’t experience. 

Fitz tries to shove the gloomy thoughts about the past and the time he missed away. He leads Deke to a shop that sells waffles and while Fitz knows exactly which one to choose, because he always eats the same, Deke is clearly overwhelmed by the possible toppings. He stares at the list for so long, people behind them get impatient. Fitz finally offers Deke two waffles, so he doesn’t have to choose one.

Deke ends up with one waffle in each hand. One with banana and chocolate, and one with cherries and whipped cream, because he decided if Fitz eats that, it must be good. He switches between them, taking a bite of one then from the other one, and Fitz watches, amused.

“This is the best thing ever!” Deke announces when he took the last bite and licks his lips. Fitz laughs. “Wait until you see the pancakes. Or the burnt almonds,” he teases.

Deke’s brows go up. “Why would you burn almonds?” He asks, stunned.

Oh, Fitz is so going to enjoy watching him eat some … “It’s good. Trust me,” he says with a smile.

There’s some whipped cream left on the corner of Deke’s mouth. Fitz reaches out to wipe it away with a napkin.

Deke looks surprised but also pleased. “Can we have some now?” He asks.

“Sure. You can have whatever you want,” Fitz says with a vague hand gesture and a smile.

Deke gasps. “Can I also ride the carousel?” He asks hopefully, peering at it.

Fitz follows his gaze. He looks at the turning horses and his stomach drops a bit, when he remembers … He has been to the Christmas market with his father once. But when he asked to ride the carousel, his father had scoffed and told him it was only for little whiny children. A lot of things only were for “little whiny children”. Like plush monkeys, or drawing …

Fitz looks at Deke and nods. “Sure.” Deke cheers. Fitz already knows they are going to get some strange looks, when Deke rides the carousel with all the kids. But who cares? It’s going to make Deke happy.

After the ride, Fitz and Deke have some mulled wine with Whiskey. Unsurprisingly, Deke enjoys that too and Fitz has to stop him from drinking too much of it. A drunk Deke might be funny, but Jemma would undoubtedly scold them.

They leave the Christmas market some time later, sharing burnt almonds, and when Deke says, “This was the best day ever, Bobo. Thank you,” Fitz feels all warm inside.

* * *

Christmas eve arrives quickly.

Jemma and Fitz prepare dinner together. Deke helps by telling them important facts about some of the Scottish things they make, like the Cock-a-leekie soup.

Like always, Fitz is surprised about how well Deke can remember random things he reads on the internet. It’s like he implants them into his mind.

When they set the table together, Deke remembers them to take care the fire won’t go out. “Remember, if it goes out, we will have no luck for the whole next year!” He announces dramatically.

Fitz rolls his eyes, but smiles. He doesn’t tell Deke it’s just a myth. Why should he. He feels good today. Everything is cozy, warm and delicious. They have a nice home and there’s no danger they have to worry about. When he imagines that every Christmas could be like that one, his heart seems to jump happy loops in his chest. 

As soon as everyone is finished with dinner, Deke jumps up. “Presents!” He calls out and lunges forward, reaching for his stocking. “Christmas is amazing,” he murmurs, while sitting on the floor beside the Christmas tree, pulling presents out and tearing the paper apart. Lola immediately starts to play with it, rolling it around with her paws and meowing happily. She got a new cat bed in the shape of a reindeer head from Deke, and a few special treats from Jemma and Fitz.

Deke gasps every time he reveals a present. An incredible thick book about the countries of the earth from Jemma. A new tablet and a toolbox from Fitz. A lemon pillow from Daisy that arrived a few days ago, sent from Tahiti. “Best. Day. Ever,” he says, happily flipping through his book.

Jemma smiles at Fitz. “I have something for you too,” she says and suddenly, she looks a bit nervous. She hands him a small present. “Merry Christmas, Fitz …”

Fitz takes it and gets ready to get up. “Thank you. I can give you mine …”

“No. Please. Just open yours first,” Jemma says, fumbling with a napkin and avoiding his eyes. She blushes a lovely rose.

Fitz frowns. He doesn’t understand why she is so nervous. What could be in that present, that makes her fidgeting and blushing? “Okay,” he murmurs. He carefully opens the ribbon and unwraps the paper in a way it doesn’t tear. When he opens the little box he reveals, he finds a pair of very little socks. His frown deepens. “Uh …”

“Look under them,” Jemma breathes.

He does. And finds a pacifier. That’s when he gets it. His stomach drops and he gasps, feeling very light suddenly. “Jem …” He looks up at her, seeing her eyes swimming in tears. “Oh,” he says. “Oh my …”

“Yes,” Jemma says, smiling. “We’re going to be a family. You’re going to be a father, Fitz.”

“Oh,” Fitz says again, feeling lightheaded.

Deke looks at them from the Christmas tree, his mouth open. “Am I going to be the uncle?” He asks.

Jemma laughs. “Of course. Uncle Deke.”

“Oh wow,” Deke says, clearly stunned. “Uncle Deke,” he repeats, like he’s testing the words on his tongue.

Fitz still can’t move. “I’m going to be a father,” he whispers, running his finger over a little fluffy sock. “I’m … a father. Me.”

“Yes,” Jemma says. She beams at him and a tear runs from the corner of her eye down her chin, dripping onto her hands. “I told you. It’s a special Christmas …”

A special Christmas.

Fitz scrambles to get up, hugging her firmly and laying a hand on her stomach. “Jemma … Oh Jemma. I can’t … I’m so happy. I can’t put it into words right now. I’m … We’re going to be a family. I … Oh my God.”

“Yes, Fitz. Yes,” she says, rubbing his back. “And this is going to be a very happy adventure, don’t you think?”


End file.
